[Kindred]

I struggled with anorexia, and now, 4 years on, I can honestly say I do not experience or think eating disordered thoughts or urges.But from what I can tell I'm definitely in the minority here, and I think that's a result of circumstance more than anything else. I was weight restored by my parents, with the underlying threat that if I didn't eat 3 square meals a day etc etc on a meal plan I would be hospitalised. This was backed up by my outpatient team. As a result, eating became part of my routine again, as did several breakdowns a day . Eventually though, it seemed to become easier...the more I did it the easier it became. This was backed up by therapy and a hell of a lot of distraction- keeping as busy as humanely possible helped me, as well as a great support network. It took around 2 years from weight recovery to actually be mentally recovered and not experience the thoughts or urges. I definitely think it's possible, but recovery can mean different things to different people. It might be a case of learning to cope with the thoughts and fight against them, they might go, and I'm a firm believer that they will- but this is backed up by my experience, and I know a lot of people who continue to experience the thoughts, but to a lesser degree.

Keep going. I found it was easier to mentally recover once I was completely weight restored- are you at this point? I had to get there before I tacked the thoughts, and it was the most difficult thing ever, and I needed help to do it, I needed someone to keep me on the right track. Although it makes you anxious, I really believe getting the right help for you will help you massively.