[Palmolive]

Hi there,

I can't say that these thoughts and feelings are going to stay or go away. Personally I have never struggled with anorexia but I do have bulimia and EDNOS. Someone very close to me has anorexia and I've gone to support groups with them and met people who are supposedly "recovered" but they always said they were still in recovery no matter how long they hadn't starved themselves for, no matter how long they hadn't had negative thoughts around food or eating etc. This is because they believed you could never be fully recovered. As an recovering alcoholic, we also say this at my AA group. We never say our name and say we used to be an alcoholic, no matter how long we've been sober or been free of the thoughts. We always say my name is ... and I'm an alcoholic and I think the same principles apply.

I'm not saying you're always going to feel this way and think this way. The feelings and thoughts will settle and you'll learn to manage to deal with them when they do flare up. Saying all this, I really want to encourage you to talk to someone even though this isn't something you want to do. Why? Because talking can really, really help. I know it's hard and I know it's scary but you don't deserve to suffer in this alone. Could you even book an appointment with your doctor to see them again? Or tell a friend about your struggles and talk to them about it. People love and care about you and want to help you but they can only do so if they know what is going on for you right now.

I know this is really hard and I wish I could make it easier for you but know if you want to talk, which I'll understand is hard for you, then I am always here. You're never on your own, okay? And you are stronger than this disorder.

Hope and wishes.
Jessie