[TVC17]

Originally Posted by maramandan

no need to tell anyone. that will spoil her future. Go for a pregnancy test and take the steps for abortion if she is pregnant.

She doesn't want to do an abortion. Most of my and much of her family are prolife. And she's super prolife so she wouldn't have an abortion probably even if her life depended on it.

She knows I think she just doesn't want to admit it. Either way after that altercation we had there haven't been any problems. She doesn't want to tell on him and I guess she does have a lot going on right now. I guess it's best for her to forget. I have been as supportive of her as I could be as a friend. I think maybe when things are settled and figured out she'll be able to deal with that. Maybe. Time will tell.

Originally Posted by Cassado

Telling someone will not spoil her future. In fact, keeping it inside will end up causing more harm than telling someone will. When you keep traumatic events inside, they eventually resurface later in life and it is harder to deal with them by that point. Keeping it inside will actually cause it to slowly eat at you, and it eventually makes your personality deteriorate until there's nothing left of you. That is something I learned in therapy. Telling someone can be hard and it brings up a lot of emotion, but at the end of the day it is the right thing to do. Working through it or at least getting it out of her system will benefit her future because it won't eat away at her like it would if she didn't tell anyone.

I know you said she isn't sure who the father is, and that makes it tougher on her. She should take a look at different options and decide what is best for her child and for herself. He shouldn't pressure her into an abortion if that is not what she wants to do. I don't blame her for wanting nothing to do with him. It will be harder to heal when she's still connected to the person who harmed her, and I think the best thing she can do is cut all contact with him.

Although she is hiding her experiences right now, maybe you can be there to support her through other life events. She might eventually decide that she is ready to talk about it, or she might not.

She does do some type of counseling but not for that I don't think more to do with her own family problems.

My mom knows about the pregnancy thing she is supportive actually without knowing that it possibly resulted from like rape or whatever. She's doing an adoption or that's what she told my aunt so it's not really an issue I guess ince her bf is going to sign termination and stuff. She won't need him. It seems like this could work out I guess. Just wonder how that works if the adoptive family gets a kid that's mixed idk....

Originally Posted by DutchWelshWolf

I’m sorry to hear about what happened to your cousin. She may be in denial about what happened, which is one way of trying to cope with the trauma of being raped and might explain why she seemed to be ‘ok with it’.

I think it might be helpful to talk to her, ask how she feels, and talk to her about her support options (such as talking to others about what happened, or getting counselling). It’s better to talk about feelings and traumatic events, than to keep things bottled up. If the baby is his, and she keeps it, resulting in your mom finding out, it might benefit her to talk about what happened, as she will need support rather than judgement. Since it was rape, it was not her fault at all.

No-one can force her to have an abortion either, particularly if she thinks the baby might be her boyfriends. It’s definitely a good idea for her to stay away from this guy, if possible, and I do understand that not wanting anything to do with him, can be difficult if the baby is his. However, there are other options, not just abortion.