[Kate*]

More of this feeling, and flashbacks, really?! You've already made it beyond clear that it's not meant to be. Considering that you can do anything, you could at least take the desire for it away from me. I want my old life back so bad right now!!!

I'm torn about wanting to go to this interview tomorrow. I have to get up early (for me) and go to someplace unfamiliar just to interview for an entry level job that I probably won't get or will get fired from. But it would be income and experience that I desperately need. And now I'm going to get sick too, awesome. I REALLY want my old life back right now and DON'T want to do this!

Next day and still don't want to.

That was my best interview so far, but my typical interviews are pretty bad, so that doesn't mean I actually have a chance at it.

I'm torn on this whole disability/tough love/harsh world issue. You have a right to be treated like a human being always and to be accommodated when absolutely necessary, but the world is NOT going to coddle or bend over backwards for you because you're sensitive to something or happen to have a disability. Not that everyone does it, but there is such a thing as using a disability, struggle, or illness as an excuse to expect or demand too much and then become offended and call abuse or harassment when you don't get what you had no right to expect or ask for in the first place. The world owes you NOTHING. At the same time, your effort matters and should be acknowledged and sometimes special circumstances dictate going against societal norms and that's okay too.

I used to wonder how the world became so harsh, but the older I get and the more I deal with it, the more I'm becoming like that and I don't want to be that way.