[Kate*]

A year later and it still hurts. The only good thing is that they stopped actively beating the emotional crap out of me, but I kept that up for them, so... From what I've heard though, it never really goes away. I think it will probably haunt me for the rest of my life. Thank you very much! Add to that the fact that I can't do or have anything that I want and you have a recipe for continued failure. Sounds like fun.

WHY do I have to want everything I can't have?!?! A PhD. I'm not convinced I want or could even get or finish feels like my only option. I don't want to risk this ruining my life again.

There is no choice about this, people need to stop saying that.

I knew you'd eventually stop, intentionally or otherwise. It's fine.

I feel like I can't live with this and I can't share it with them because they're living my worst nightmare and I don't want to risk insulting the only people I've found who kind of almost get it. I'm done.

Worst breakout of my life despite treating it every night; I'm about 10 years too old to still be having it this badly UGH.

Sometimes I just want to slap people; and no, that won't work, I live it, you don't. There is no choice or self-fulfilling prophecy here and thinking happy thoughts won't make it any better.