[Kate*]

I appreciate the response, but you need to stop pushing that so hard. That's what I'm unsure about and I heard you the first time.

SOMETHING IS WRONG and I don't know what it is.

It's settled, I'm contacting you again soon, we'll see what response I get if any. Either way, please be gentle because you're missing the hell this put me through.

People who quit or who you throw out probably don't keep in touch. Not only do I want to maintain contact for my own reasons, but I'm NOT comfortable with the fact that you get to duck and dodge the reality of what losing this does to someone and their life. You just get to move on like nothing happened and stop caring about someone you know you hurt.

Stupid anxiety! Just because I've never done this doesn't mean it's going to be bad, these things are NEVER as painful as I work them up to be in my head (even if I have to go all the way there just to sign a release that I should've taken care of 4 months ago), I make way too big a deal out of things.