Hello Sendy.
I think that what you should do is to slowly, get into more groups and maybe restart school again and talk with more people. There's no reason to control your thoughts and not rant it out. It's the collection of internal worries and pressure piled over time that slowly but surely turns into depression. It's like a weight on your shoulders and I can see that weight over you.
But what I do know is that your situation is beatable, and you can rekindle your motivation. All you've to do is to believe in yourself, talk to some new people, make new friends and don't doubt yourself.
I think that you're determined on the inside... let your determination show. The fact that you're reaching out to us is a good thing because you want us to help and this will allow us to help you out even more.
Also, I think that there's some sort of event or some sort of occurrence that has sort of damaged your impression of yourself and led you to lose your self-confidence. But what I do know is that you deserve better than to feel this way, and whatever happens in the past stays in the past. You've got a bright future ahead of you, and it's what you make of it.
Fight your negative feelings , and remember that you're better than what those voices in your head tell you.. you're better than what they say you are.
There is every reason to enjoy what the world has to offer, and there's no better way to do it than to start smiling again and start believing in yourself. Also, there might be people who don't treat you well when you talk to them, but the people who will love you and be your friends are worth it.
You will never be a burden to us... You'll never be a burden to me. We want to take care of you, and put that smile back on your face where it belongs. The people you'll meet in the future will also likely have the same thing in mind. Feel free to join sports, cooking groups, bands and activities where you'll socialize.. bosom friends will be made.. and you'll definitely remember what it feels like to be enthusiastic and be motivated. It might take some time.. But this is one fight
that you'll definitely win.
Rant to me anytime
I'll be here for you , always!