[Kate*]

I'm finally starting to feel like I can breathe again after 15 months of hell. Too bad it never lasts.

As if the Medicaid issue wasn't bad enough my loan company has to scare me half to death making me think I owe money in 3 weeks that I don't even almost have. Thank God it was an error, but that heart attack was NOT FUN!

And we're back to normal. The almost 3 days I had of feeling better were fun, but I can never expect life to stay that way.

The slide might not be as far this time, but I still need a life and it can be nothing like the one I always dreamed of having. You have no idea how much that sucks.

Yep, as familiar as this feeling is, I still can't stand it. I don't think I'll be doing this for very long.

I can accept that you were wrong a lot easier than I can accept that you screwed me over and I'll never recover the investment or from the emotional damage. It was all a complete waste; you don't get to do this and then try to convince me otherwise. Yet, I would still want your help because I feel like you actually get me and I'm that desperate. Like an abusive relationship it was, ironic as hell. All I learned was how evil the world can really be and that I deserved every last bit of it despite doing "nothing wrong." So, it did change me, just not in the way you wanted.