[MsNobleEleanor]

I am not sure how helpful this might be but I struggle heavily on self-harm and the feelings you've shared; being alone. I have some idea's that you can try if you feel comfortable. I know how hard to not cut when we feel we need something to replace that with. Have you ever tried any deep breathing exercises? I know for myself if I have a hard time breathing or having a terrible panic attack, I take my bedding off my bed and lay on the cold sheets facing down (on my stomach). I then focus on breathing slowly. It can take a bit to focus on your breathing and to relate it to a normal rhythm. Breathing helps to clear any muscle tension I find. I know breathing isn't going to fix the problem but it helps you to be incontrol of your body.

I'm not sure if your doing any hobbies or crafts, I find doing a craft helps ground me. You can also colour in pictures (therapy colouring books) or paint, you can also sew or knit. Do you go for walks when you start to feel off? Sometimes the air (cold/warm) when it hits our face, arms, legs, feet, etc., it's calming, and looking at the flowers, houses, cars, tees, that we walk by can also direct our minds away from what is happening.

I know this is a bit different, when I experience pain instead of getting a pain killer I focus my mind onto other things so I am not focused on the pain itself. The mind is very powerful and I know how hard it is to direct the mind onto or towards something else when our emotional well-being isn't well. Not sure if showers are helpful, cold/hot showers can bring you back, playing with pets or touching them can help.

I know being alone after Christmas isn't something anyone wants, are you able to call a friend to see if they are free to do anything? If they aren't free, you can have a few days to relax and not worry about others. I know it can be hard to focus on ourselves. Sometimes when things are bad for myself and I am alone I think about what I am thankful for and what I have, not the things that I don't have. It helps to focus on the now. I know it's hard to be alone after Christmas and you can take that time to enjoy yourself, practice self-care.

I think taking the antibotics as directed by your doctor is best, infections can appear gone but they're not completely. Is it possible to get more antibotic cream for over the holidays? I'm not 100% on this but cleaning the wounds can help then air dry before applying any bandage or antibotic cream to it. Sometimes having a bandage on it all the time can slow the healing process, are you able to have the wound uncovered for an hour or two so that it can breathe?

I know how hard this is for you that you boyfriend is going out of town, have you calmly told him that you don't want to be alone after Christmas and that asking if he could call you while he is away so you won't feel alone? You can talk about general things like how his trip is going, what you have done, or thinking of idea's to do together when he returns. I know you two will be busy, but figuring out another date day/night could be fun.

I hope this was helpful. I will be around TeenHelp during Christmas and after, I will stop in the Chat Room throughout Christmas Day as well if you wanted to chat.