[Celyn]

Hey there,

No-one here is a professional, so we can't diagnose you, but the symptoms you have described (feeling worthless, sleep difficulties and not enjoying things) does actually sound like depression. You can see a list of depression symptoms here.

However, there are different types of depression, and wider mood disorders. Also, depression doesn't always need a cause. Sometimes it just happens, perhaps a chemical imbalance. Have you talked to anyone about how you have been feeling? You shouldn't have to suffer in silence and you definitely do deserve to get help and start living your life!

It does sound like there may be an underlying cause, if you used to enjoy things as a distraction from unpleasant thoughts. Though distractions are definitely a good idea, sometimes it can help to talk about these thoughts to a professional to get to the root of the issue, so that you wont have to keep distracting yourself all the time.

I also think that the mixture of over/disrupted sleeping (even if it's been going since you were a child) and not eating enough may contribute to you feeling worse. Try to go to bed at a good time, so that you can get about 8 hours of sleep a night. If you can't sleep, get up and do something boring like read or write in a diary, and then go back to bed. Try to get up at a good time too, even if you have to force yourself to get up 5 minutes earlier every day. As for eating, it can be hard when you aren't interested, but it's still important. If you don't feel up to eating 3 regular meals a day, try eating 6 smaller meals throughout the day.

It's actually quite common with depression to feel worse in the mornings, and quite a lot of people manage to function daily and put on a smile, even if they don't feel like it. But it doesn't mean you should be stuck living like this. You deserve so much more and I really hope that you open up to someone, doctor, teacher, counsellor, parent- anyone you trust.

Take care