What Ellie and Green Yoshi touched on. You are a valuable person. And no matter what you think about yourself you are of value and are worth it.
But to answer your question, Id suggest what Ellie said to do and talk to a dietitian if you can afford it.
But if you can't afford that the internet and what we are told growing up is some good advice. eat plenty of veggies, good quality proteins, and good grains. all in moderation. And find out what your calorie maintenance is its simple, just google BMR and plug in a few numbers and it will tell you how many calories you need to eat to keep your body alive as it is now.
And once you figure out that number just reduce it a couple hundred calories. Start it slow. Don't go drastic. trust me you and your body will hate it and you won't want to try again. And along side of the whole eating right and eating in a slight calorie deficit start a simple workout routine. it can be just as much as walking for 20 minutes a day. 20 minutes of cardio is what is recommended per day for physical activity.
And if you do that for a month or two and starting to see results talk to a personal trainer and join a gym and start trying resistance training. Resistance training is good all around. it will help get you to your goals a bit more quickly, and its good for your body/bones.
And if you'd like more advice Im training towards getting my personal training cert so id gladly give out advice to you. just send me a
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