[Itah]

What could that be? I feel worthless, hopeless. I hate myself. I didn't enjoy anything i used to enjoy, i could still do them. They were a good distraction from the unpleasant thoughts. I slept too much, i have been an oversleeper since i was a child and it didn't change. I don't like eating. I eat too little. Just like i've ever been.

Since few days ago. Something snapped. I can't even think of holding my pen to draw. It hurts alot. I don't know how i feel about it. I want to do it. I wish i could. But i can't bring myself to do it. The same goes with reading and every other thing i enjoyed doing in the past. I still don't like eating in general, but it seems like i am even more not interested in some way. I still sleep alot. But i started having weird dreams. I sometimes wake up several times during the night and roll on the bed for 15-30 minutes until i go back to sleep.
I don't feel sad, just hate myself and feel worthless. It feels horrible when i wake up in the morning, but i can laugh normally during the day. I even laugh too much that peopel think it's kinda weird. So i don't think it's depression. What could it be.??