[BookDragon]

So a little bit of a backstory: I've lived in an extended stay motel for two years as of this last October. Two years in that little room with a kitchenette, a tiny bathroom and two full sized beds. It started out as the four of us, until my sister left to live with her boyfriend.

Now, all the attention is on me, since I am still there. My parents don't respect my opinions or beliefs, preferring to steamroll over them because "their house, their rules". I can respect that, but I feel I should have some sort of say of what goes on, considering it is my paycheck that pays the rent every month.

My mom has this thing where she thinks that because we live under the same roof and are of a similar build that we should share everything-clothes, makeup, and other products. I don't like to share, never have. Yes, the space is a small one but I feel I am entitled to having little things that are my own. I don't ask to wear her clothes or use her makeup or borrow her things. I refuse to touch them. But she does not extend the same courtesy to me.

She also has a habit of going through my things. I've asked her to leave my side of the room alone but she feels that if it's "messy" or she is looking for something, that it's fine to go through my things. I had to stop keeping pen and paper journals because I found her reading them.

Keep in mind that I have very little to my name. I have a suitcase of clothes, a few books I keep in a duffle bag under the bed and a small bag of little things I have picked up over the past two years. Nothing valuable but I keep it for sentimental reasons. I don't like my things touched and I don't like sharing things I have bought for myself.

My dad on the other hand doesn't really pay any sort of attention to me. I prefer it that way, but when he does speak to me, it is always condescending and meant to be hurtful. I try to do my fair share of the chores in the room, such as sweeping and doing the dishes, but that doesn't seem to be enough. I want to be a treated with respect but I can't find that here. They are always commenting on how my sister is ruining her life (and while I think so too, it's not my place to say anything) and how they are "trying to keep me from making her mistakes".

I am tired of living with them, but until I can get my bank account opened up on Friday and get some money saved up, I am stuck there. I don't know what to say to them when bringing up the topic of putting up boundaries. I'm nervous of saying anything at all because I don't want to get yelled at. My PTSD flares up very badly and sends me into a panic attack when I get yelled at.

I feel at 19 years old I should be able to speak up for myself but I don't know how. I just want to put some boundaries because I am tired of my mom treating me as her best friend and not as her child. (Not to mean I want to be treated as a child, but I am not her best friend and do not want to encourage that line of thinking in any way shape or form)