[Lionheart]

I don't do it anymore bit when I did it, it was to feel strong and in controll of things.
I was convinced that I was not allowed to show weakness. I couldn't cry, couldn't ask for help, couldn't admitt to anyone not even myself how bad I felt. But I couldn't keep all the feelings inside either. It was to much, so I let it out by self harming, cause to me it was never being weak. It was a proof that I could handel things myself, without the help of anyone and I wouldn't hurt or annoy or bother anyone that way.
Later on it was simply an addicton. I loved and still love to see the blood and feel strong for enduring the pain. It's like I can do something that others don't have the strenght for.
I found better ways to deal with my feelings though and I learned that admitting to weakness is not being weak at all.
I'm looking forward to read your article!