[bailatyvm]

I first felt suicidal when I was 8 years old. I'm now 19, and just now starting to figure out what to do. Medication has really helped me, but of course I still hit those 'triggers' that send me into 'crazy depressed' mode.

But while it doesn't go away, it gets SO much easier. I used to think that was a total lie, but it isn't. You will eventually figure out your body, figure out your brain, figure out why you think the way that you think, and therefore figure out what kind of help that would benefit you the most. I was at my breaking point after year 10 and I was like 'it's been so long there is NO way that it will get better' but it seriously does. I still get the anxiety but I've learned how to calm it down. It used to be so bad that I couldn't eat, but now I know how to tell myself that it isn't real.