I hate this. All I want to do is cut myself! All of these drugs surrounding me, and it's so tempting!! I have never abused drugs before but I really want too!! I can't take this! I hate feeling like this! It's not fair! A 15 year old shouldn't feel this way! I should be living my life! Not worrying about this!! So I will probably cut myself. Sorry
Just hate this! SO MUCH. And want to hurt myself real bad. Oh well no one cares. I don't care what I do myself, just gonna end up being a failure anyways. So why not do what I want!
UPDATE: I relapsed again tonight after 7 days of being clean, which is longest I've gone since June. And it's ruined. Um. Yea. I have a lot of pain meds in me also, guess I abused them which I swore I wouldn't do. I don't know what the hell went wrong with me tonight. I couldn't stop cutting myself. I normally can do about 10 cuts and be done. But not tonight. I kept going. So. Anyways. Just wanted to update on this. I am really freaking mad at myself right now! So who knows if I won't do it again tonight. Gonna be a long night. Sorry I'm a sucky person. Don't think I even fit in here.
I feel like a failure. I am probably going to scare away people. Just sorry. I would take this down and not have anyone waste their time typing responses one someone who doesn't matter but I don't know how too.
Your all going to get so tired of me. I have so many issues. I feel like I'm posting too much. I'm so sorry!