[Celyn]

Hey Chloe,

It sounds like things are difficult for you at the moment. I'm not surprised that horses have helped you to relax and feel like you can concentrate more- they are known for being therapeutic!

It's good that even though you want to isolate yourself, you still hang out with friends. I do understand the frustration of things dragging and not being able to concentrate on the conversation though. Do you think you would tell your friends about this, if they noticed something was up? You could just say you haven't been feeling too good recently, rather than go into detail, if you didn't want to. Those moments you get when you forget the world is real and your heart races? That may be a panic attack. Try to take a deep few breaths and remind yourself that you ARE real, the world is real, and you are experiencing a panic attack, but you will be ok. The feeling unreal part, is just another factor of anxiety and depression. Try not to focus on the feeling itself, but instead, engage with what's around you. Try noticing what you see, hear, smell, touch and taste, to bring you to your senses.

When we are in the midst of depression and anxiety, the last thing we feel like doing is concentrating on school work. Maths anxiety, in particular, is quite common. I'm sorry that the teacher hasn't been very helpful towards you. I'm wondering if your school and your teachers know why you were off sick? Would it be worth telling them (or asking a parent or doctor to tell them) about your depression, anxiety and how it affects you in class (particularly when your mind goes blank)? Or you could write a letter, if you didn't feel comfortable talking. Teachers may be a bit more understanding when they are aware of your situation and know that you have issues with concentration and that you aren't acting up for the fun of it.

Since you now have the work to do at home, I suggest doing the work in short bursts. Say 10-15 minutes of writing. And have a break. Then do a bit more. It might help to start off small with a few bullet points about what you might want to write, and then gradually turn those into sentences, and then paragraphs. Turn off all distractions too as they don't help. If nothing comes to you, try not to get stressed. Try to relax, as stress may affect your memory and thinking skills.

Also, are you having therapy or medication at the moment? It sounds like the issues you are having are hanging around and it would be best to get some professional help so that you don't have to suffer anymore.

Take care