[Not_here]

Hey there,
I voted "maybe" because I want to stress that each person is different. Some people do and some people do not and both are valid. As for at night, I find that's a time many can relate to as being a trigger. I do not know exactly why but it could be after a day of pretending and putting on a face, youre alone at night and you may let your guards down.

That I see a lot of being said, I see you have a lot of strength. You mention a disturbing childhood and perhaps emotions were coming up got you. I'm sorry you could not reach out due to poor service in India. But well done for trying. May I ask if you've tried telephone or online?

Is it possible to speak to someone in person about this? Having in person support can be really helpful and works well with online support. You can try opening up to a teacher, parent or friend's parent. Opening up to a friend can help as well.

I know how hard it can be to think beyond the present pain. But it may help to keep in mind that the night will pass and it will be day again when you can spend time with friends and occupy yourself with future goals.

I wanted to ask, you've mentioned that you've hand depressed moods before, has anything worked for you in the past that you can try again?

I hope things are a little better since you've posted. Take care