[Thatgirl906]

Hi I'm new here but I wanted advice so yea. I'm 16 and last year I was a freshmen at a private catholic high school. I am extremely shy and never really thought I was pretty although I've been told I am I still don't. So a guy called me pretty and told me everything I wanted to hear. I was stupid and did a lot of sexual stuff with him. I told my so called best friend the next day and next thing I knew that night my friend face timed me after people found out and said everyone was pressuring her not to be my friend and she didn't like the drama around me. I had no friends for quite awhile. I cried so much that night but put on a brave face to go to school the next day thinking how bad could it be. So many people knew because of the small school. At lunch I sat outside a building and are playing on my iPad and this group of guys would go by saying terrible things about me. The teasing would go on and eventually I made friends and had an ok year and thought when I came back after summer things would be good. This year started and it was good in the beginning cuz the guy wasn't there and lots of people left but I didn't have lunch with anyone I knew so I saT alone and studied. While walking to class with a friend one day she told me when I was absent the teacher was like oh she's absent and everyone laughed. Then I made a friend sometime after a couple weeks. Thought it was good until she texted me one night saying her parents found out what I did and I couldn't talk to her anymore. I was fed up. Cried myself to sleep that night. The next morning my mom asked about her and I said we weren't friends anymore she asked why and I broke out crying and telling her everything. She was so disappointed in me and the bullying. We tried stuff and bullying continued so I left. The point is my mom and dad think I'm fine with it all but weeks after I left school I kept dreaming about the people who stopped being my friends because of it and the school and I keep thinking what if I didn't do that things would be better. It makes me so sad. And I didn't tell my mom everything I actually had sex with the guy. But since we are Catholic and they are strict I didn't tell them that but tonight I hugged my mom and she said "please don't break my heart and ever lose your virginity before marriage. Don't lose anymore purity" she made me promise I wouldn't and I did and that hurt me to lie to her. Idk what to do anymore I feel like I've ruined all relationships and I'm such a b!tch.