[Dream]

1) What pronoun do you prefer to be addressed by? Do you prefer a name that is different from your given name at birth?

I prefer she/they pronouns for now (I'm male-to-female). I still get male pronouns pretty much always, but I hate them. Yes, I'm changing my name.

2) How old were you when you first felt a difference between your biological sex and gender identity?

I don't like nitpicking, but I'd argue that my biological sex is the same as my gender identity because gender identity is a result of brain structure (even though the definition of sex is usually limited to gonads, genitals, and chromosomes, it shouldn't be that way). It is my birth-assigned sex that does not match my gender identity.

I was very young when I began experiencing dysphoria, but I didn't understand it at the time of course. I was not a feminine child. I didn't start transitioning until 24 and have been on hormone replacement therapy for 8 months now. I thought that I was just mentally ill for wanting to live as a woman and didn't understand that I was experiencing gender dysphoria until that age.

3) Who in your life has been the most supportive? Who could be more supportive?

My sisters have been the most supportive.

I think that other trans women could be more supportive. There is so much in-fighting that goes on among trans women, and they have been far meaner to me than any cis or trans-masculine person has.


4) What is the biggest struggle of the transition process?

Passing. I can't pass, so I struggle with presenting female because I'm extremely afraid and really find myself disgusting. I desperately need facial surgery, but it is extremely expensive. I've already decided that if I'm not able to live as a woman after a few years on hormones and facial surgery that I will kill myself. There is no point to living like this.

5) What is something you'd like more people to know about your experience as a transgender individual?

The most important thing for someone to know is that this is not a choice for me. I haven't had a decent life up to this point due to this condition, and I never will until I'm able to integrate into society as a woman. I would never have chosen this in a million years and hate it, and I really wish people were more knowledgeable and accepting of it.