[Kate*]

This is suicide bad and I want you to fix it, but I know you can't.

It's absolutely CRAZY to me how similar it was (and maybe still is) to an abusive relationship. There were better, more professional ways to counsel me out than what you did and you know it. He said you were being reasonable and I was overreacting, but that's not the only thing he didn't quite "get". Yet, I still want you to make it okay somehow.

If everything happens for a reason then not only must there be an AMAZING reason I lost this, but there has to be a really good one, aside from the obvious, that he wasn't available to handle it and help me; because if he were meant to, he would've. That doesn't mean I don't still wish he had and I still want to have that discussion with him because I need help and I'm curious what the right way to handle it would've been and what he was going to tell me.