[Kate*]

Addiction is not a fucking choice, but I see that stigma comes from people like you. Not knowing is one thing, being ignorant and getting into a debate after someone DIED because of actions driven by the disease is incredibly immature. Good job full-grown adults. He was someone's SON for fuck sake, how would you feel if someone did this to your child?! Oh, that's right, your kids would be perfect just like you are and would sure as hell never use drugs. It could happen to anyone, but you're not worth the energy it would take for me to tell you that. Mike, I'm sorry that things went the way they did and I can't believe what people are saying about you. I didn't even know you, but I know better.

I love when I tell people what happened and they assume I'm upset because I don't understand why they did it and jump to their defense with "don't you understand why...?". For the record, I totally get it; if they hadn't done it, I would've walked away, but it's AMAZING how little that actually matters. I think there will always be a part of me that wants to do it and I feel like the fact that I got so close will always haunt me, even in 50 years when the debt is gone. Add to that the fact that I know that I could almost do it, and this will never go away. And STOP complaining to me about a shortage of professionals. You're the reason I can't be one and it's just proof that the job outlook for that is AMAZING.

I HATE this feeling, I want my life back, I want to be normal, and I want his help to fix it. I can't have any of that and this pain is becoming too much.