[Kindred]

Goodness knows how much help I'll be, but I can at least offer an outsider perspective.

Yes, we all know the main ways this can end and someone is going to get hurt. I take a class on the psychology of intimacy, and it was mentioned that the part of the brain responsible for "loving" and the "falling in love" bit are completely different. So, based on that I'd say yes, she probably can be in love with both of you (or falling in love with you).

It's always going to be painful and difficult when you connect with someone on this level who is unavailable. But things won't stay like this forever. The next step is either going to be initiated by you, or something else is going to happen to move this along. This state of just talking and connecting constantly is most likely not just going to stay like that in my opinion, and it sounds like you know that too. So...next step?

She's going to have to make a choice, and she needs to decide whether this is reason enough to leave her boyfriend. As she was saying she could see you as a couple, I think you could work from that. Depending on how you want to go with it, you could reiterate that she has a partner and it's not possible, or that you don't want a relationship with her. You could mention that if you both see a potential relationship, then what are you going to do about it- are you going to acknowledge it, and try and move past it for the sake of her relationship, or are you going to pursue it? Does she need to take time away from both of you, entirely, and then return to this situation when she realizes what she wants? She can desire two things, and I can empathize with that, but she can only have one in reality. She's been with this dude three years, that's a pretty big commitment.

Alternatively, leave the situation entirely before it gets too messy