[Always *]

I totally understand what you're going through. I had similar problems with my dad. The truth was that he provoked me and would take out his bad mood on me, but if I stepped up to the challenge I was being rude, isolent and disrespectful... But... He was being unnecessarily rude to me too, and treating me like I wasn't good enough and stuff.

The thing with parents is that they're not perfect. The older I get, the more that that makes sense because I still don't feel like an "adult". Adults aren't supposed to make mistakes, or doubt themselves or be flawed. "Proper adults" should have their shit together, which simply isn't true. Adults do mess up, adults are flawed, and that doesn't change when you're a parent. Your dad might be reacting to something that only kind of sort of has to do with you, it might also have something to do with things in his life he doesn't want to worry you with (work stress, relationship stress, friendship stress, etc.).

The best thing you can do is to actually be respectful - telling your dad to shut up might not be the best course of action if you don't want him thinking you're being rude, for example. However, telling him that you feel like he is also being rude to you because of X or Y is a much more polite and mature approach. Walking away and refusing to engage in the argument is another valid approach. I'm not saying it'll just solve the problem, but it could help.

Talking to your mom or other parental figure (aunt, grandparent etc.) might also help because he/she might be able to intervene on your behalf and attempt to mediate between the two of you.

I hope this helps.