[NonIndigenous]

Originally Posted by BreathingIn

I recently began a new job. There are a couple managers who switch their time at the food place I work, and there's one who is completely mean to me for no reason.

I've been getting along with everyone else who works there, and they're all nice to each other. But this one manager yells at me every time she's near me.

I'm a fast learner and have been doing well with the job. But she yells at me very passive aggressively, saying things like "Honey, you need to listen to me! You need to know this! Now go do it!"

She doesn't stop all day long. It's not like she yells at me over one thing. She yells and demands more work from me ALL DAY when she's there. Every second I'm in her presence, she is ordering me around angrily.

She makes me want to quit the job, but I need the money. After all, she's only one person and everyone else is very nice to me and tells me that I'm doing well so far. But on the days she's there and yelling at me the entire time, I come home and cry. It is truly, truly awful. Even with all the nice people, she makes me scared to go into work because if she's there, then I know it is going to be a bad day.

Since I just started the job, I feel I shouldn't go to the bigger manager and explain what's happening, because I don't want to look like I'm complaining already. My family said to give it some time and if she keeps it up, then I can talk to someone higher up.

What would you do? I don't want to quit my job but I don't want to be terrorized by this anymore. Like I said, it upsets me so bad that I come home and cry

Easier said than done: grow a thicker skin.

If you get on with everyone else at work... that's good enough. That speaks for itself. You can never please everyone.

The problem isn't you. The problem is that manager, and the odds are that other workers, and managers even, know this.

Remember that.

People like that are everywhere. Unless you catch her doing something remarkably abusive and crossing the line, there's probably little you can effectively do about it (without going Rambo).

Unless she's the "big boss", then she's not going to get you fired, if you're getting on well with everyone else, and everyone else enjoys working with you.

An assigned position of authority, doesn't mean that person necessarily has the "leverage" to truly do harm to someone like you. The "leverage" required to do that, comes from what influence that person has over other people, and like I said earlier, if other people are aware that she's a nuisance, and enjoy working with you... then really, there is little harm she can probably do to you. Therefore: stop feeling threatened, because there is no real threat.

If you feel threatened in situations like that... it might even provoke you eventually to respond in a stupid way. To "react" without thinking. Some people are like this more than others. I don't know where you stand on this. And if someone reacts on impulse in a situation like that, and does something stupid... then yeah, you could get fired. Like I said... stop feeling threatened, because there is no real threat. You worsen the situation by allowing this to get inside your head.

A challenge to step up to a pissing contest isn't a threat. It's pathetic instead. Especially coming from a manager.

Maybe I'm also reading into it too much. Maybe it's just the way she talks to everyone, not just you. I don't know. Some people just have a style of talking that is fkking annoying and patronising, and don't even realise it. If that's the case, then you shouldn't even take it personally.