[MATB]

Let's start off by saying I've been a horrible daughter lately. Yes, I know all teenagers resent their parents and all, but I really don't think I love my parents at all. It makes me feel so bad because my mom is so obsessed with trying to get me into college and doing tons of work and research and she always is saying that she's given up her whole life for me, but I'm just not feeling the love. Like I don't feel comfortable enough to go to her with any of my problems (aka she doesn't know I'm cutting and suicidal and my friend tried to kill herself last week), she is critical "for my own good", never accepting anything less than an A, even in accelerated courses, and she's had me on diets since seventh grade, and I feel like I can't ever fight her on her viewpoints without it turning into a screaming match. She hasn't abused me physically, and this probably doesn't qualify as emotional abuse, but I feel like whenever I tell her that I'm stressed with grades or I want her to stop doing my college research for me she doesn't listen and then throws it back in my face.
Now these past few weeks, I've been standing up to her a lot more, telling her I don't think she's been the best mom and I really resent her for the constant anxiety I have and attribute to her. I feel like I'm justified for finally standing up to her but she is just calling me a b*tch and saying that she can make my life a whole lot worse if I want to keep being rude. I don't know what to do. Are these feelings I have against her at all justified? Is it okay that I'm telling her how crappy she's treated me? I still feel bad because she keeps telling me that she loves me unconditionally and gave up so much for me but I'm not really sure what to think because i never wanted any of it.
I don't know what I'm searching for here except maybe advice or clarification? Please let me know if you think I'm wrong and I can try to fix the relationship or whatever I just want to know if my feelings are okay.