[elvishqueen]

Recently I have been continually feeling awful, and I don't know if this is depression or...I don't know....hormones?
I am constantly angry with my family members, and then, in turn, angry with myself. Some days I hate myself so much, I feel liked I want to die, but then scare myself with imagining the pain.
It frightens me a lot, the way I am, and I feel that I am not myself anymore. I rarely smile, I always hate what I see in the mirror, and I feel unlovable.
I don't Self Harm, or cut, or anything like that, but I have all this pent up rage inside me that I can't express. I love to write, but it never seems good enough, and now I feel like I can't even express myself.
I feel...I don't know....trapped. I can't understand the feeling, it's like I'm suffocating all the time, or about to throw up.
Today, when I was travelling back from the cinema, all I could feel was this inexplicable, overwhelming sadness: and I'd just seen a great movie. It's everywhere, this anger, this hate, this loneliness. I don't understand what to do with my life, and I feel like I'm drowning on air.
I know you can't just diagnose me simply by reading this, but I could appreciate some input in if you think this sounds like a real problem, or just strong mood swings. Or maybe I'm just miserable.
Please help, I don't know what to do. I can't help myself anymore, and this feeling is the worst thing I've ever experienced. It's like I'm rotting away.
Thanks