The past is the past. What matters is how you move on, how you overcome your problems and how you defeat it is up to you. But what i know is that life is forgiving if you first forgive yourself. You are someone is just merely thinking that you don't deserve happiness, when you in fact do, so much.
you are loved, you are cared for, and you are awesome. And you are doing so much to overcome what happened to you, and that deserves respect.
I don't care bout the bad things people say, and the mean things people do. You are who you are. You are better than who you think you are, and i think that its respectable that you're brilliant.
I know that you're a sweet person deep inside, its just that your past has sorta made you forget that you're a good, nice person.
Now, forget the burden, and live and be happy. You deserve the good life, you deserve the happy, smiling life. Let your happiness return!