[Kate*]

Remember when I told you that if this happened, I'd probably never be okay again and you made me change it to it would suck, but I'd eventually recover? You were wrong. Everyone kept telling me "if that happens we'll discuss what you can do instead." I lost you, he was on sabbatical and now I can't contact him because I don't think he's available or would be willing, and she just tried to help and didn't know what to tell me. That on top of everything else that's worse than I was expecting and I can't take it anymore. I know you told me to take care of myself, but I just don't have it in me or see the point. If I end up going back, I'll go back to you, but right now it doesn't look like that's happening. I give up.