[Kate*]

Having your entire life collapse SUCKS. I spent 7 months completely crushed, on the verge of suicide and it took every ounce of strength I had just to breathe. Then I started to come out of it, but I still have some days like that. Some days I'm fine with it, other days all I want to do is go back. Some days I'm ready to meet with her to consider moving on, and the next even thinking about it makes me nauseous. On the rare occasions that I got it right, I was willing to do anything for the feeling it gave me, but it went wrong fast and the crashes were incredibly painful. Some days I want to meet with him because he was never able to provide the help he offered me, other days I don't want to face him again. While I will never blame them for doing it, I will blame them for their treatment of me and others and criticize the way they handled things, that will never change. It's the up and down that I can't handle now. You have no idea how exhausting this is.