[msfsteven]

I completed 2 semesters of college, but only because my parents wanted me to and I felt like I had no other choice. I was happy for the first semester but the second did not go well. I like learning and I can perform well academically. But the problem is I have no idea what I want to do, what degree to choose, or whether a degree would be beneficial for me in the long run.

Basically, I don't believe higher education is for everybody in terms of furthering their careers. And frankly, I find it to be a scam unless you're in the medical field, education, etc. The main issue is funding. I don't want loans unless I know it's something I need and something that will help me.

But I've spoken to my grandma, who I live with, about it and she shuts me down and says that I won't be successful if I don't go and starts comparing me to other people in my family who didn't go to college. I know I'm different. And I know that success comes to people who pursue it, not just people who have a degree. But I feel so alone in this and I feel like if I leave college I'm going to be resented in the place I live and will be given a hard time if I don't have a "good" job within a short amount of time.

This whole conundrum has been a nightmare and has contributed to my depression. I feel like my emotional state is weak and everyday I feel trapped. I feel like either way I'm going to end up failing and being unhappy. I can't seem to ever make decisions... I also feel like I'm being manipulated and they don't even know they're doing it. No matter what I say, leaving college is wrong in everyone's mind.