[Kate*]

I'm trying not to be jealous or immature about this, but seeing people post about getting their licenses is hard. I know this will either work out or it won't. I feel like one more would make it better and smooth this over, but there was a reason that you weren't there at the end, maybe it's supposed to be easier to let go if I don't get that. I only really want it because you did such an amazing job the other times and you said you would. I know it's impossible without a miracle and you don't owe me anything. I don't know how hard it would be to walk back in there though. If I go back it makes sense to go back there, but I'm hesitant only because of how painful I'm expecting it to be. I want you to make this okay somehow, but I think it would've happened that way originally if it were supposed to. I know it was a train wreck, but that doesn't mean that letting go is easy.

Even if that's not what you said, I know that's what you meant. I'm brain-damaged, not stupid.