[Palmolive]

Hi there,

Firstly, I think it's really great and lovely of you to be wanting to try and support your girlfriend through what she is going through. I know it can be hard on the other person in a relationship but it can mean so much to that person as well. Thank you for reaching out to us here at Teenhelp.

Have you seen our list of distractions? If not I want to advise you to look at them and even print them off. These don't all work for everyone but some might be really helpful for your girlfriend but remind her they're not all going to work and she needs to keep trying them again and again and keep trying new things too. Maybe she could have a look at the list and even try and make her own list of things that she finds helpful when she has urges to self harm? She could stick it up somewhere to remind her of the things that helps when shes at her lowest moment.

Maybe you could both spend time together doing things like going out places to the cinema, for tea, for walks, doing art, dancing, watching films and so on. Give her reasons not to self harm, you know? And I also think it's important she has a way to express herself in ways like art, music and writing. The more she can express her self in a safe way, the better. Remind her she doesn't need self harm, that it doesn't really help in the long run, that it's a short fix for things and it's not going to make anything better for her and that she is stronger than it and that you're there to help her through it. Even give her the name of this site and let us talk to her her, or rather let her talk to us.

You being there to talk is enough. If she decided to act upon her thoughts even though you have supported her, that's her choice and know that whatever you did, you did your best and that's important to know because you can only help her so much, she has to meet people half way too. You know? Don't ever blame yourself for what she does to herself. I know that's really hard but you're trying your best and I don't want you to feel bad for her doing something, if she does.

Self harm helps because it releases endorphin's but so does things like running, so maybe you could both get involved in that? Just a thought. Hang on in there, I know it's hard but you can both get through this with each other. I know you can and remember we're here for you both any time you need us.

Jessie