[Always *]

Why are there so many time wasters in online dating. Like sometimes a girl seems interested , asks you to add her on facebook , and then you ask her to hang out she is like "yeah of course!! ". But when you actually try to agree on a time- they always can't make it for whatever reason. And then you realize they are just stringing you along - I think it is mainly unattractive girls that do this- and I think it is because they just use an online dating service to boost their ego?

Girls don't just "string you along" for "fun", I mean, some girls might but most won't - it's just like a lot of guys will play games or use girls, it's stupid and immature, but most people aren't sitting there trying to get an ego boost or play games, its usually more complex.

Besides... Who said those girls are even unattractive? Or need an ego boost? Maybe they're perfectly pretty, confident girls who just decided for what ever reason, which you have no idea about, that they don't really need or want to meet you that has nothing to do with being a conniving bitch.

* Maybe they weren't all that into you to begin with and just didn't want to hurt your feelings by saying they don't want to meet you, but they decide not to reject you yet "just in case" things looked up or something (silly, I know, but no one likes hurting someone else's feelings)

* Maybe they're seeing a guy already and decide a few days later they'd rather see where it's going with this guy before meeting new guys

* Maybe they just lost interest because of something that you did. Not trying to tear you down here - a lot of the time the things are minor and inconsequential and it boils down to minute preferences that has literally nothing to do with you and really means nothing in terms of what you need to do (or it could be major in other cases, but I think you'd have indications in other areas - here is a good example: there was this guy who messaged me and we barely said 5 words to each other, it was basically "hi, how are you", to which I said "hi I'm good, thanks" and a few days later he comes back and starts telling me all about his mental heath problems for NO REASON, like seriously no reason is not even the slightest exaggeration. Now trust me, I have diagnosed mental health problems myself, so I'm not judging and I honestly wouldn't care if my partner also had his/her own challenges, but I also really don't want to have some strangers problems dumped on me like that because that's surely not the sort of thing I want to have as the foundation for a good relationship cause it was really awkward....

Ok so (not so) random story aside, the list runs on.

Online dating can suck but it can also be super great.

Sucking.

- SOME guys can be massive creeps, I got some really creepy messages from guys (including a few who were 40-50 years old) asking to hook up and it was so gross it made me want to quit right then and there (I am sure some girls would be creepy too but I've just never personally heard about it)

- Some people will cat fish you, which sucks - but generally, you'll never meet these people in real life any how, and (I would hope and assume) that at some point you'd verify a persons identity by meeting in person or video chatting or some such thing, so that's shitty but (ideally) preventable

- Some people will play games, which wicked sucks, but that is life - usually these people are immature, cruel, dramatic, EXTREMELY insecure in all the worst ways possible, and so on, and you don't really want to be in a relationship with those people any how

Benefits

- It is easy, especially when you are not having luck meeting anyone in your day to day life. Unless you are a hermit who never has any contact with other humans, I would never expect anyone to change up their lives just to meet someone because that's a hassle and I'd be sort of sad that your time was so dependent on finding a man (if I decide to join a book club or martial arts gym, that's all for me, if I meet a man in the process then all the more power to me, you know what I mean). So yeah, online dating is great.

- It also gives you a safe (ish) controlled space in which you can scout out a potential partner



Ok honestly, I can tell you all the reasons why I am for (or against) online dating - largely I am for it, and I just want you to know that I met my boyfriend through online dating and we live together now and have been together for a year. So it has a ton of potential once you get around the useless mundane crap where people insist on acting strangely

I totally understand your frustrations. Trust me, that is why I listed some of my pros and cons for you just cause I want to give you some perspective. My point is that, yes, some people suck, but it's a little unfair to just make assumptions about someones situation if you are making judgements about attractiveness and ego boosts and stuff, it's not acknowledging the range of possibilities about why a person didn't follow through the way you expected and/or were led to believe.

The best I can offer you is to just shake it off and stick with it.