[Ral.]

Hi Brianna,

Klover has given you some good advice and I totally agree that you should be super proud of yourself for recognising that it would help a lot if you told somebody!

Firstly, don't tell her right now, like Klover said, wait until maybe breakfast or a time where you two are alone, in a comfortable place. You mention it's hard for you to find time to talk to her alone, which may mean that you may need to tell her before work, even if you feel like it bothers her. Just make sure that she is awake herself, don't wake her up to tell her. If you wake her up to tell her, it's likely she'll be worried and won't be able to get back to sleep afterwards. It's also likely that if you both have a good nights sleep, you'll be more confident and your brain will have had enough rest to pull together everything you want to say, which is another thing you said you were worried about.

The hard part about telling somebody is that you're right; you don't know how they're going to react. Do you trust her to keep it to herself, or maybe before you tell her, ask something like "If I tell you something, do you promise to not tell A?" and explain to her how you feel that A wouldn't be as supportive as her and you're worried about how she would react. That's also a good way to start the conversation, tell her that over the past x months/years, you've been struggling with a lot of things, which is resulted in you starting to harm yourself. Reassure her that it's not her fault and that you're four months clean and that you're trying your hardest to get through this and you just want some support because you've never told anybody. If she cares about you enough, which I'm completely sure she does as from what I see you two have a strong relationship, if you're considering telling her about your self-harm, she will be respectful of your wishes to keep it to herself.

You mention that you're not sure how to go about telling her, what I would recommend is getting a piece of paper and write down a really basic structure to everything you want to tell her, that way if you do feel like you can't think of what to say or how to go by it, you can just look at your sheet for a recap. That way you're not exactly writing a letter, nor are you not prepared for a face-to-face discussion.

If you'd like, send me a PM and I could help you go through what points you want to write down and what you feel like you want to tell her. I'm so proud of you and I think it's amazing that you're considering telling somebody and I know you can do this.

Take care dear,

Jack.