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Re: My parents dont understand -
June 10th 2015, 09:35 AM
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Originally Posted by jpeople111
Thank you for the support,I might try speaking to my parents again soon but not today,I feel really bad because I think my friends feel like I didn't care much about my friend who died because I just don't talk about it because it makes me cry and all my life I have been known as like the strong one.
Also I finished my first year of college on the 22nd may and I don't go back till September so I have nothing which motivates me to get out of bed in the morning,I'm trying to get a job because my parents told me to but the thought of having a job and so much responsibility right now scares me so much.
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You're very welcome!
Crying is healthy as it actually can relieve stress; it's good to cry and just let it all out. And it also doesn't mean you're not strong, you know? Being strong doesn't mean you have to hold back on expressing your feelings. You're allowed to cry, to talk about him and feel out all of your feelings regarding your friend's suicide. I know it's hard, but maybe you might find comfort in letting your friends in? Having friends who understand and being able to talk to them about your feelings may make a huge difference and get some weight off your shoulders.
Something that may help you in healing is to write letters to your friend. It could really help to write down what you want to say to him on a note to get it off your chest and help you feel some sense of closure. Alternatively, you could go to his grave and talk to him. I've heard of other people doing this when they lose someone close to them because it provides comfort to them. On that note, a friend I know on here also lost a friend of hers, (bless their hearts) so she planted a tree for her friend. I thought that was really sweet and nice because a tree is something that lasts for a very long time. Everytime you go by there and see that tree, you'll remember him. Perhaps you could share that with your friends who also knew him, and all of you could plant a tree for him together?
Congratulations on finishing your first year of college by the way! In the meantime, how about including some hobbies to do during your day? Hobbies could provide enjoyment and distraction from everything you're dealing with along with having something to look forward to each day. Doing some hobbies you used to enjoy might be fun to go back to, and along with that, you could also try out some new things, you know? Exploring different things could keep your days interesting and you never know when you might find a new hobby that you'll soon become passionate towards!
While getting a job feels scary, it could end up being something positive. If you were to find a job and give it a try for awhile, and it ended up affecting you negatively (given what you're currently going through, I certainly understand how it could), would your parents understand if you decided to quit for the sake of your emotional health? Having a job may help you in terms of socializing and simply getting out most days, but depending on what sort of job it is, it could also be stressful. Ultimately though, you know what's best for you, and if you don't think you could handle a job right now then that's completely okay. You're going through a lot, so your feelings are understandable.
Glad to hear you may try speaking to your parents again sometime. Hope it goes well when you do, and you're welcome to keep us updated on things if you'd like!
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