Crystal,
I've also found myself mentally hurting me in place of self harm. As of late, I haven't cut or hurt myself in a while (other than snapping my sillyband around my wrist) but I think that mentally harming myself is also something I do in place of self harm.
I'm sorry you are going through this but, just know I'm always here for you.
If you need somebody to lean on I would love to be there for you.
You'll get to a better place in your life. I believe in you!
~A