[Kate*]

I knew I was out of options. I knew you lied to me and I know you don’t care the fact that you feel bad changes NOTHING, I’m over it. Good for nothing waste of space capable of nothing, damaged goods. DONE

If expecting mental health professionals to act as role models and treat their students and the future of their profession like human beings with feelings is too much to ask, maybe I'm not the only one who doesn't belong there. And if it is a profession-wide value that you never show weakness to a supervisor or admit to another professional that you're human, then maybe the profession needs a serious overhaul. I'd be happy to do it, but I'm not allowed anywhere near people ever again.

I think I want the privilege of what the degree would allow me to do without the criticism, judgement,and emotional abuse that comes with earning it. I want to do it my way and have it not be wrong, I want to feel comfortable sharing my fears and weaknesses with a supervisor who will help instead of hurt, manipulate, and force me out. I want to not be blamed for things that aren't my fault, I DESERVE that. Yet somehow there's still a tiny part of me that wants to go back.

I know I'm thinking about and that I care more about you than you do me, and I need to stop. I can't stop caring, but I've accepted that you've forgotten about me already. You don't have to care about me any more and you don't. This goes so much deeper than you realize so you were wrong when you said I had options. If you still want to try to help me, go ahead, but so far suicide is the only solution I've come up with and I've been at it 24/7 for the last 8 months so good luck!

You are the only person I can think to contact right now and I know you're NOT an option in the least. Even if you read the email in less than 2 weeks, you can't do anything and I don't expect you to. You don't have to care anymore and you don't. You only said that because you say it to everybody and I might need to for that one day, doing this would lose me that option.