[bitesize]

Feeling so guilty.

Was out last night for my friend's bday and met her friend M. By the end of the night it was just 4 of us. M started coming onto me, and I was really attracted to him - but while he was in the bathroom my friend told me he has a girlfriend.

Now to be fair he definitely initiated everything and was the one to kiss me first - I never made a move on him. But I didn't stop him either. After a while I said it to him and said we should stop, and he agreed, and kept saying how terrible he felt, and apologising, but we didn't stop. We were kissing for over an hour. We weren't drunk enough for it to be an excuse.

'You can tell her I'm sorry, you can tell her it was all my fault,' I said, but his face told me he wasn't going to tell her anything. He told me later he'd cheated on her a few times. It was a pity because apart from the fact that he's obviously a bit of a dick in the fidelity area of things, I quite liked him.

Now I'm not going to see him again or anything, it was just a once-off thing, and it's unlikely I'll meet him again through my friend for a least a while. But I still feel so guilty - having been in relationships I know how devastating cheating can be. I creeped on his girlfriend's facebook today and she's so cute and lovely-looking, and he said last night how he would die for her and what a terrible person he is. I know the blame is more with him, but I still played a part in it and feel so bad. :/