[RadioSerenade]

I am not sure what you mean by turning this into an actual thread LOL, it always was, but I am so sorry to hear about the incident with the member of the anti-Depression forum, but unfortunately it's the nature of looking for help in a public setting. Even in a private setting, I mean I have gone to counsellors who have failed to help, one of whom told me that counselling has become a way of life for me, whatever that means.

I recommend you see a doctor or a proper counsellor to get some help regarding forgiving yourself. Sometimes you need some additional expertise and some assist, perhaps even explanations as to why you feel the way you do. Almost all Australian public schools have counsellors hired for some days during the working week and if you can make an appointment with them, it'll probably do you a world of good. All you have to do is rock up and talk, and also implement some coping strategies that they give you, but I suppose that is more of a choice.

You need to forgive yourself, and that's something huge. Something that for some people, doesn't exactly come in their sleep. It's great that you feel bad about these things because remorse for crimes is a fundamental sign of humanity. However, even someone who has committed crimes deserves to live life without the constant consideration of mistakes of years gone by.

DISCLAIMER: I don't know and will not pretend to know what counselling services and their organisation is like in Philadelphia, you need to see someone who knows you personally, and can properly assess you, and I think that was the shortfall of the aforementioned online service you went to.