I've come to the conclusion that I might have an eating disorder. It hasn't been formally diagnosed, but the past few months I have been engaging in some unhealthy and damaging methods to lose weight, and it's become a compulsion. My therapist said if I keep engaging in these behaviors she is going to recommend me to a therapy skills group for people with ED, so because of that I am concerned.

However, this post isn't really about that. This post is about talking to my boyfriend. Normally, we are open about everything with each other. We have a particular kind of relationship where I am required to be honest with him about anything concerning my health. He knows I was engaging in unhealthy eating behaviors, but I told him that I'd stop. However, I haven't stopped. If anything they've gotten worse. I eat normally around him and so he doesn't think anything's wrong, but the rest of the week I am engaging in those unhealthy eating patterns.

This is weighing like a terrible secret on my chest. Every time I'm around him I'm thinking about the fact that I'm still doing the stuff I said I wouldn't do. I want to ask him for help. However, I just can't bring myself to do it. I'm terrified that he'll want to start helping form a diet plan, or that he'll tell me I have to eat more, or that he'll simply be disappointed in me. He's fixing to leave in three weeks to go on a trip for three months and I know that these behaviors will only get worse while he's gone. I need help. I need to tell him, but I don't know how.

How do I get over my fears and talk to him? It's tearing me up inside not to be honest with my partner about something as big as this.