[Kate*]

Hey there, and welcome Aside from a few details, your story is very similar to mine. I was younger when my parents divorced and I didn't choose which parent I lived with, but otherwise reading this was like reading my own story. I know it feels like nobody cares and that your dad wouldn't care if something happened to you, but it's not true. Even if you aren't getting along, losing a child is a parent's worst nightmare. I'm going to suggest professional help, depending on how your dad would react, it might be easier to start with your school counselor. No one would know except you unless you chose to tell someone. The school would likely have to tell your dad because of the suicidal thoughts, but if you've been dealing with this for years, it might not be so bad.

If you're like me, by the time you're done reading this, you will have come up with a ton of reasons not to reach out. You don't have to do it immediately or ever, but as someone who suffered for years before finally getting help, it's worth a try. Reaching out was the best decision I ever made. And if it doesn't work, you're not going to feel any worse than you already do.