[Moxie.]

Hey there,

There's no timeline that says you need to come out at a certain time in your life. It's all about your comfort level and when you feel ready to come out. If you're not ready yet, it's completely okay for you to wait a bit longer. I completely understand how painful it can be to continue to live with such an important secret (I'm a lesbian who has yet to come out to my parents), but if coming out to your parents will give you more stress and anxiety than waiting a little bit longer, I would definitely recommend the latter.

If you do feel like you're ready to come out but are unsure how to go about it, I have a few suggestions to offer based on my experiences coming out to my sibling and some friends. Because intense feelings tend to accompany the moment you choose to come out, try rehearsing what you are going to say. If you have an idea of what you want to communicate to your parents, it will be easier for you to say it when they are sitting in front of you. If you don't think you'll be able to say it to them, you can always write them a letter and give it to them to read. If possible, try to come up with answers to any questions you feel they might ask. Again, it will make it easier on you, since you will most likely be somewhat emotional. It might help if you print out some literature online to give to your parents as additional resources.

Lastly, I want you to know that you are not a burden to your friends or anyone else. The people in your life that show support for your gender identity, stay with you and help calm you down, and provide you encouragement throughout this time in your life do these things because they want to. There is nothing forcing them to stay. They choose to be a part of your life because they love you and want to see you be happy. Reaching out to them is perfectly fine! Please know that you are valued, not burdensome.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or need to talk!