[Calaer]

Hey there! First off, you aren't a horrible person. We all make mistakes, and this was your way of coping though a tough situation. Did you know that the guy you hooked up with was the girls crush, or did you only find out after? If you knew, ask yourself, did you do it to hurt her feelings for not being the 'best' friend she could have been? Sometimes we subconsciously do things without truly understanding why. If these new friends weren't totally there for you like they should have been, maybe that's why.

As for your ex, things like this are tough. If you feel like you want to be with him, and you feel like he's going to treat you the way you deserve then just explain to him that you did this in the past, and that he shouldn't allow this to get in the way of you two. Explain to him that you truly like him, and that you would truly like one more chance to prove yourself.

As of everyone hating you, this is high school. One week everyone will hate you, the next they love you. I say just give it time. You can say your sorry to everyone and make peace, then just give them space to get over whatever it is they are going on about.

May I also suggest finding other ways to cope, rather than having sex with other people. Not only can that be dangerous if you don't use protection, or know others sexual history, but it's not the biggest confidence building coping tactic. Maybe you could try painting, cooking, or even dancing.

I'm always here if you want to talk. Feel free to PM/VM me anytime! I hope things get better for you soon. Take care!