[xxpaigiexx]

I wish I could say how sorry I am, and how much you have always meant. We used to be so close and if only I thought more of you and a little less of myself we still would be. You are an amazing person and you just don't see quite how amazing you are. Fear has stopped so many positive things in my life and fear is what has stopped us in our tracks. Yes, we still talk almost every day, but it just isn't the same. You never want to speak with me quite as openly as you did before and for that I am sorry and I take full responsibility, if only I had known how to support you better as you had done for me. I pushed you away and that was not fair, I pushed you away because I was scared that you may have tried to end your life again, and I seriously do not know what I would do without you in my life, so it was always easier to keep you at an arms length. Now I am paying for those consequences. I am sorry I wasn't braver and I didn't take more risks, maybe we would both be stronger people if it wasn't for my own fear and my apprehension. I am sorry.