Quote:
Originally Posted by LANIKA
While I moved forward and learned from the scare we had, he didn't, and he is/can be incredibly sexually irresponsible that it frustrates and scares me. We've been dating for a few months again now, and have only had PIV sex once. Mutual/oral has occurred more often. The issue is this: He will continuously ask me to have PIV sex without a condom. He will not wear condoms that are the right size for him. He will not wash his hands before ATTEMPTING to manually simulate me ( I do stop him, but it feels like negligence on his part regardless ). He knows that none of these things are things which I'm comfortable with...I can't breathe. And I don't know what to do.
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It sounds to me like you and this person do not share the same sexual values regarding hygiene and safety practices. You've set boundaries with him before, and yet despite the fact he
knows those boundaries he still pushes them. This is not only a partner who doesn't share the same values as you, but one who doesn't respect your boundaries. A good sexual relationship requires respect and communication to work. If your partner can't respect you, then you can't have a good sexual relationship. You deserve to feel happy and fulfilled in your sex life, not scared and kept up at night by your sex partner's disregard of safety practices. That's not healthy.
I would say have a talk with this person. Reiterate the boundaries you have set and cite examples where they have ignored those boundaries. Let them know that until they can respect your boundaries and value the same safety practices that you do you aren't interested in having sex with them. If they agree from this point forward that they can do those things, great, but if they can't, or the next time they violate a boundary, then it may be best to end your sexual relationship together.