Me and my ex-girlfriend were dating for 3 years before things got a bit tough. We've been through an abortion...which was horrible for both of us, especially her to have to go through. But we stayed together and worked through it. I've been desperately trying to get a higher paid job so I can ultimately afford to buy her a nice engagement ring (yes, I was going to ask her to marry me!
)
But because we argued alot, we'd been through so much and the jobs I found were 100 miles away, we ended up splitting up. I always wanted her back, in fact, I tried talking to other girls, even let her know I was talking to other girls but in my head....I just loved her too much. I didn't kiss/sleep with any other girl and still haven't. I wont kiss/sleep with another girl at all. I love my ex too much for that.
A long story short, me and my ex slept together two nights ago and she cried afterwards and told me she loves me but she wants to be alone at the same time.
A few months ago, my ex met this guy on a train, he's 22, me and my ex are 25. He gave her his details, she messaged him on facebook and he added her. They've been talking and they swapped numbers. She told me that story, then showed me the text messages. The guy has been asking rude questions e.g what are you wearing? (At night) etc.
So I flip out. I delete his number from her phone. I block him on facebook. She then gets mad at me and says I haven't changed. The following day, she begins texting him again.
Since then she has been saying: "at the moment, being single makes me happy. I just want to be on my own for now.. Please respect that"
and "I just want to be on my own.. Why can't you accept that? I want nobody I just want to think of myself."
What exactly does this all mean? I know my mistakes. But it feels like she's playing mind games. Does she love me?? Does she want to sleep with this dude? Why are they texting?
My mind is racing and i've had two asthma attacks. I can't tell you how much I love this girl. I wanted to marry her.
If anyone can help me right now, i'd appreciate it. Last night I cried like a baby for hours. I just want that other guy out of our lives and for us to fix it.