[Remaining]

When I first heard of it in 2011 I thought it wouldn't work.
I thought it wouldn't cause the right kind of pain. And I thought if I couldn't see blood its nothing like cutting.

In 2012 I think was when I first tried it. I was trying to stop cutting because of my relationship.

My s/o would tell me if I cut myself they wouldn't talk to me for a month.
It would have been a good way to keep me from doing it but it wouldn't have ever stopped my constant urge to do it every time I wasn't feeling well.

Also we aren't in a sexual relationship, the cuts where not in a visible area.
So I kept doing it and felt bad each time I did it.

One day I bought a bag of assorted sized brown plastic rubber bands because I love hoarding cheap items. ( 500 for $2, Yes. )

I was reminded people use these to stop themselves from self harm.
So I tried it out.

At first I put on the thickest rubber band in the bag. I assumed it would hurt the most but I found it was hard to pull back far and when it did hit me from the distance I could pull it it wasn't a sharp pain at all. It was dull and wasn't working.

So I tried a longer and thinner band. It wasn't tightly fitting and I could pull it very far away from my wrist and snap it back. It did hurt, kind of.
It wasn't as painful still, and it wasn't working.

The next time I tried a tightly fitting, very thin band.
It hurt very bad when it snapped back. And I thought it would work but since it was so small and hit with such force it was leaving marks on my wrist.
Also it broke the 20th time I used it.

The last one was a tightly fitting medium regular brown rubber band.

( slightly thinner than what you might see on google images )

I would post a image but it wont let me.

The amount of pain from this size was perfect, and the marks would fade in a half an hour or so. The skin would raise from where it snapped but wouldn't stay raised for long.

The snapping feeling was exactly like cutting, only without the blood and scars.

What made this work so well to remove my urges to cut was, since you can do this so often the skin in that area gets so numb and eventually I started fearing it snapping back down on my wrist.

As badly as I wanted to feel it, I couldn't. Something in my brain was stopping me from doing it again.

After a month or so of doing this I couldn't do it anymore. I tried returning to cutting but since I was relating the rubber bands to the feeling of cutting so much I felt afraid of cutting.

It felt like a new barrier in my brain was built.

Personally it was disappointing since I wanted the blood and panic feeling.
I'm not saying I'm suddenly cured of wanting to hurt my self.

But I am saying I no longer NEED to cut myself.
And I think more people should try the rubber band method.