Hello everyone Thank you for viewing this thread.
Im planning on packing college in because I'm being treated badly. I have no friends. Teachers refuse to give me the full support to help me with my Dyslexia and other problems that I have when it comes to work. Im constantly going in and coming home rather depressed and feeling like dying. I shouldn't have to deal with that! It's college not hell it does feel like that sometimes I must admit.
Im looking to make friends. It's one massive aim that I have at the moment because my current friends are kinda shitty. I don't know if I can cope with work. I have extremely low confidence and I can't stand there and look in to some ones eyes because I don't have the confidence. All my life I have been bulled treated like shit even my so called friends betrayed me and thats happened more then once. I want to work in a phone shop because I want to work my way up and be an Apple representive or a Samsung representative something along those lines. I don't know will I make any friends there? When I went to a phone shop to buy my new phone most of the people there were in their mid 20's. Being honest I would like friends my own age not some one who's in their 20's. I really need that social life because I have felt so isolated this year and last year. The feeling you get from being isolated for a very long time is horrible. It feels like I'm disconnected from the world I'm watching everyone and everything while I'm alone. I can't really cope with being around loads of people. I feel like they might laugh at me because of my such low self confidence how would I cope with a job? What happens if I can't help someone who wants help with their phone? I might be to shy to look them in the eye I might have to look away or something. I really need this social life I really want friends I want to have a life. I need to have reason to get up in the morning. If I'm failing college and can't cope with the teachers not doing their job properly and treating me like shit then why should I bother going in? Should I look in to another job ? Where I can meet more people my age? The thing is I want to work in a phone shop because that's where Im good at what I do I like my phones and tech. I don't like the idea of having to dress nice for the interview. I don't like wearing posh trousers and stuff I won't feel comfortable
My social life is something that I want to to get sorted I want to have a life. Im very worried about the fact if I leave college and get a job then realise I have done the wrong thing. When I go in to college it feels like hell I hate the place the college is terrible in my opinion. That's from my experience because one of the teachers that was terrible has left and we have a new one to replace them I believe.The thing is all the teachers are terrible and on a plus side I have this annoying teaching assistant which causes me to have panic attacks.This only happened once it's not a regular thing or anything but she was being so nasty to me she made me have a panic attack. She's so contortive and puts words in my mouth. She once told the whole class that I was Dyslexic. Excuse me but that's extremely privet. Toping all that off she told the class that I had ADHD I honestly don't have that! I have nothing against people who have that it's nothing to be ashamed off or anything. The thing is she told the whole class something I would have liked to keep personal. She didn't stand up in front of the whole class she sort of said it loudly in her voice and a few people heard and it was extremely awkward cause the guy next to me looked at me. I can't believe I'm getting treated like this. I reported that teacher they have supposed to have done something about it but from experience with this college I highly doubt it. Is leaving college the right decision ? I can't cope with the work demand for starters including all the other stuff that i told you. Would I be able to cope with a job? I honestly don't know if I would be able to. I just want to make some friends and start my life off I have been depressed wishing I was dead. Im just trying to get back on track. Get in a good direction. I would also like to meet girls as well as friends as I have never had a girl friend before and I'm 18 I would like to meet someone and make friends. Its that social life I need. Im not desperate for a girlfriend or friends but I really want them because at the moment I don't really have anyone. I have 2 friends that annoy the shit out of me most times.
Would I be able to cope with working?
Thank you for viewing my post!
Take care of yourself ~Justin~