[MsNobleEleanor]

Hey Sarah,

What is important is for yourself and your boyfriend to not let his mother interfere with your relationship. I know this can be hard cause he lives with his parents and you visit and hear about it. It is good that he put things straight with his mother about how he does feel. That is good. I know that his mother is looking out for him, however it's his life and not hers. If you both make decisions or choices that should be solely about you and him only, not his mother. I mean his mother can have her own views and opinions.

One suggestion is let him know that you want to be able to hangout with him without his mother having an issue with it. You could talk to him and ask him to express that he knows she means well, but he is old enough to make decisions and choices for himself and if she has a problem/issue with, maybe he needs to limit the information he does tell his mother (if that is the case).

Just makes me wonder if maybe she is right. If maybe I am not good enough for him, I feel like he deserves better than me. Cause I bring him down sometimes, and cause trouble. And I feel like I am a waste of time and money, I feel like I am taking him away from more important things

You shouldn't feel this way. Money shouldn't be apart of your relationship, sure it is there, but you are definitely not wasting his time nor money. He wants to come see you on the weekends because he wants to be with you, because he values you and wants that time with you.

My boyfriend and I have such different lives, he comes from this good almost upper class family. They have money and live a comfortable life.

I had the same problem with my boyfriend. He's the Military Brat, with a father in the Air Force, where his mom would transfer money to his account when he was struggling 2 months ago with money. It bothered me cause I thought he needed to learn to come up with ideas to find money.
There isn't a difference between your family and his. Everyone lives a different life style than others and how they live, that doesn't mean they aren't happy. You can take this into a learning angle, where you can teach him the importance of saving and where to shop and he can teach you how to invest or how much to put away for X item/thing. You can each learn and grow from the backgrounds you do come from. In anyway, this isn't a negative thing, it is a positive thing. It may not seem that way but it can be very rewarding in the end.

Just makes me wonder if maybe she is right. If maybe I am not good enough for him, I feel like he deserves better than me.

What I see here is you and your boyfriend don't have any issues with the relationship the only person who can't see that both of you are happy is his mother. She might be overprotective of him and sensitive to his feelings from his past relationships and that she doesn't want him to go through that again. Sometimes, things happen and we don't have much control over and she needs to know that she can't always control what does or doesn't happen in his life.

Have you asked him what he wants to happen? What he wants to do about his mother and how she is reacting? It could help him to know what he does want and doesn't want.

I hope this is helpful Sarah.

Take care,
Chantal